I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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