watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
