i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Randomize