Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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