On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
