I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
