I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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