well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
