my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
