whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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