there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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