Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
