well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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