You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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