Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
