Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
