If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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