The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
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How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
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I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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