She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize