Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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