It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
