was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize