Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
