I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
