Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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