Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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