Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Every concussion has its silver lining
I just blew my weed a kiss
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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