There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
