HIV tests are more positive than that guy
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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