I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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