More tranny stories later!
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
