Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
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