My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
