He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
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