i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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