Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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