I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
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She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
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She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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