he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
where am i from again
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
