what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
