Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
