My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
