so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
