I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize