dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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