oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
