im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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