I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
