If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
