She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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