6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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