i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
