my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
stop calling my apartment porn island.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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