Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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