omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
