Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
