Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
