that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
is wine microwaveable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
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