so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
