i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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