shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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