M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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