maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
How does it feel to date your dad?
how does that bad decision feel?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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